Final Essay

Black America: Moving Forward

Black Americans are one of the most stigmatized groups in the nation. While most of the American population is well aware of the setbacks this group has encountered historically, it seems as though only a few are aware of the fast pace at which our social attitudes have greatly improved, and of the short amount of time it has taken Black Americans to be able to experience more authentic standards of equality. Imported as slaves and laborers in the 1600’s, the first black Americans came from Africa, and were treated as property by much of the white population. Since these inhumane times, both the standards of the black community and the attitudes of the country as a whole have changed drastically. It's important to recognize the remarkable social and economic imprint that Black Americans are making, as the entire nation moves towards overall improvement.

Following both the endurance and abolishment of slavery in the later 1800’s, Black Americans continued to encounter many obstacles because of their slavery embedded roots. The well known issues of segregation and discrimination proposed many new obstacles upon their new found, and rightfully granted, liberty. The limitations of their past also affected them in terms of their knowledge, education, and their experiences. During the early to mid 1900’s when segregation was most prominent, finding a source of employment and income was very difficult. More often than not, their level of education only allowed for low paying jobs like laborers. Many women (about 60 percent) found source of employment as domestic servants (Zuckerman). Children, as much as 25 percent, were not enrolled in school. Instead they worked a full time, 55 hour week doing manual labor (Thomas 95). The dire need of supplement income often came at the expensive of the children’s education, and prevented them from receiving the schooling necessary to acquire a good paying job in the future. As a result of this inevitable rotation of setbacks, Black Americans regularly found themselves doing everything possible to simply survive. And while living a life in poverty, they remained an unforeseen seed in the eyes of the economy. The new life of liberty in the free world proposed a great challenge.

By today’s standards, the black society has significantly progressed. Particularly, exponential growth has been made in the realm of education. As of 2003 more than half (58.3 percent) of Black Americans had enrolled into college within a year of receiving their high school diploma (US Society African Americans). Of all of them within the work force (ages 25-64) only 10 percent did not hold an education level equivalent to at least a high school diploma (African American). It’s without question that Black Americans have made enormous advancements in education. By cultural standards however, education goes hand in hand with employment. It is in part because of this relationship that the work force has substantially benefited, improved, and progressed as well. The same 60 percent of females that were holding positions as servants 60 years earlier are now holding highly reputable, white collar jobs (Zuckerman). Recent statistics even show that the current overall employment rate for Black American’s is 75 percent, just two percent lower than White Americans at 77 percent (Harris). Not only do these accomplishments express the great levels of educational growth accomplished by Black Americans, but more importantly, it highlights the progress and positive changes that have been made throughout the rest of the country, and in the financial market of the nation.

In part this large impact we’re seeing today is also due to the dramatic adjustments Black Americans have demanded in the attitudes of the other, particularly white, American citizens. In the 1950’s, 55 percent of whites believed that back Americans should not be offered the same job opportunities. However, when this same question was asked only two and a half decades later in 1975, 97 percent of whites claimed to believe in equal opportunity (Zuckerman). If the subjects of the questionnaire given in 1975 had been lying about their true beliefs in equal opportunity, then the statistics are corrupt. However, regardless of how honest the subjects were, it’s significant to note that the overall indication, which strongly alludes to the fact that the attitudes of White Americans have changed dramatically, remains unscathed.

The education and income market are not the only places African Americans have embossed this country. Spectator entertainment has always provided a wide range of enjoyment by means of thrills and pleasure for the American public. In 1954 it was reported that of the 72,400 full time employees working in television, less than 200 of them were black (MacDonald 247). In today’s day and age, Black Americans are a top contributor to this industry. Some of the most well known entertainers include musician Michael Jackson, basketball player Michael Jordan, television host Oprah Winfrey, comedian Bill Cosby, baseball player Sammy Sosa, actor Will Smith, and professional golfer Tiger Woods. Each one of these well known entertainers are Black Americans, and viewed upon as role models by millions of people across the entire country.

Standing as proof of a changing society that’s tackled the many ethnicities of the county, much of the influential aspects we are seeing include social changes to the Black community as well. Professional Tiger Woods is a great example of exactly this concept in the entertainment industry. Wood’s professional career took off in 1996, at a time where there were only about 500,000 professional black golfers. Due to his representation and influence, over the optimal course of his career, the number of black golfers rose exponentially nearing 1,500,000 (Evans). As with Wood's, the vast majority of blacks excelling in the entertainment industry are not only proof of their own personal and cultural excellence and liberal growth, but as a part in the whole economy. Country wide they are overtaking, influencing and setting standards for many of the things that Americans enjoy and support; entertainment. It is America’s favorite past time.

Just as they did in the times of slavery and forced immigration, Black Americans continue to leave a mark on the nation. Not only have they progressed in terms of their education and job fulfillments, but accordingly as citizens, in status, and in the entertainment industries. With such substantial changes already being made, we can only expect further progression from Black Americans as individuals and as a group in its entirety. After all, with the first time ever black president we are experiencing history as we know it. A larger imprint and continual shaping of America in the future is only to be expected.

Works Cited
(images from Google Images)

Works Cited:: Black America: Moving Forward

Works Cited

“African American History Month” Bureau of Labor Statistics. Feb 2009: United States Department of Labor. Web. 2 December 2009

Corlett, J. Angelo. “Surviving Evil: Jewish, African, and Native Americans” Journal of Social Philosophy. 2001: 207-223. Academic Search Premier. Web. 2 December 2009

Evans, Farrell, Lipsey, Rick. “Color Code” Sport Illustrated. April 2007; G40. Academic Search Permier. Web. 2 December 2009

MacDonald, J.F; “Black Perimeters – Paul Robeson, Nat King Cole and the Role of Black in American TV” Journal of Popular Film and Television. 1979: 246-264. Academic Search Premier. Web. 2 December 2009

Thomas, Sue. “Second Home: Missouri’s Early Schools” University of Missouri Press. 2006: Web. 3 December 2009

“US Society African Americans” About the USA. November 2009. Web. 2 December 2009
Zuckerman, Mortimer B. “A Hard Look at What Works” U.S. New & World Report. Nov. 2003. 83-84. Web. 2 December 2009

Aubrie

Hello again Aubrie! I’m so glad to see you again because I loved reading your writing so much... one of my favorites for sure.

I enjoyed reading and re-reading your blog posts. Overall, you are a great summarizer when it comes to referencing/acknowledging other in your text. You keep it short and direct, but write in a way that isn’t boring. All of your posts also had great organization which helps your writing flow smoothly, and always seemed to have creative/original ideas.

You had a lot of good blogs to pick from for your final, but here are my three favorites you haven't already used:

1- Religion and Moral Identity;

I really enjoyed reading this blog. While I think overall some of your other blogs were written better, I loved the approach that you took with this one. I was caught by pleasant surprised with the strong points you made and thought it was awfully clever for you to break it down the way you did… especially after having already done reviews for other peoples writing on the same topic. If you choose to expand on this one, I know it will make for a strong and very intriguing paper.

2- Is Monogamy the Key?

I remembered this one from the original blog peer reviews. I thought it was great then, and I think it’s one of your best overall. This blog complements all of your best writing techniques- your ability to summarize, organize, and maintain relevance and a smooth flow.

3- The Fracturing of a Family

This blog was also written very well- and the intro is great. I love the second sentence, and think it could make for a great opener. Because it has an overall theme of staying connected (now from a distance), I think this would be a fun one to use for the final. I feel like there are a lot of things you could do with this one expand it in more dynamic ways too!

After reading everything, the only suggestion I have for you for the final is about your citations- which you do a great job of referencing in your text and using to support what you write. However, you most always use direct quotes and hardly ever use paraphrasing (although I did notice towards the more recent post you started to do it a bit more). While I think that direct quotes can at times make for a stronger piece of support, paraphrasing can help keep it consistently written in your own voice. Regardless, whichever blog you choose, I’m sure it will be great.

Good luck with the final- and thanks for all the reviews this semester! Have a good last few weeks and enjoy break!

Susan

Hi Susan! I loved reading your semesters work. I think you’re a great writer and have a fantastic ability to show your personality within it. Overall I really enjoyed all your blogs which were all really well organized, readable, and cited properly. Your titles were always very good too- informative and never deceiving. :)

Of all of your blogs (that you haven't used), these are the three I’ve picked out for you:

1- Move Over Miley!
I really like the direction you took with this blog. It was creative and interesting. Like most of your post, it was written and organized very well too. It has a strong opinion/viewpoint, but it doesn’t come off as a personal opinion which I think helps credit it as well. Aside from everything that’s great about it though, I think it would be a fun one to add “dynamics” to too if you chose it for your final!

2- More than Just Reproduction
I like that you took a different side to the author your summarized in this one. The topic makes for a compelling argument, and you held a strong stance. The blog itself already has great structure and organization… and there were so many great concepts you used to support yourself, I think that with just a little bit of references to back up your personal statements, it would be a really great essay!

3- Money Makes the World Go Round
To me this topic is quite boring/difficult to write about, but you did such a good job writing about it without bringing in the bore and actually making it interesting that I chose this one. Like your others, it was well structured. It maintained a consistent voice and read really smoothly too. I like that you involved the current economy because it’s something we’re all currently aware of/involved with. Given its current status, this may be a good one to write about too as I’m sure you’ll be able to find recent articles on the topic. A last thing I liked about this post was the concluding sentence- it was one of those ones that left a kind of lasting impression.

It’s apparent that you’ve been a good writer since the beginning of the semester. As your blog posts became more recent though, your writing style seemed to change (improve!). However, you never compromised the initial way you wrote, you only added to it. To me it seems like it became more established (for lack of a better word), and thus much more relative, informative, and persuasive. Being that said, after reading all your posts my only suggestion is to be weary of the way your personal opinion translates to your final essay. Like I said before, you have strong opinions, which are one of the things I like most about your writing. Just make sure to continue writing the way you have been most recently and not to let them overtake your writing.

It was a pleasure reading your semesters worth of work. Good luck with the final, and enjoy a much needed (for me anyways) winter break!

Week 12 Blog Reviews

Whitney:::

In a Perfect World

I thought that this was so good! It was so easy to read, and you did a really good job summarizing reading and explaining both ends of the spectrum. Your intro was terrific too. It totally drew me in. I really don’t have much to say except that I think you should have given you’re viewpoint (the same one that was in the conclusion) in your intro too! Regardless of that though, really good job.

The Fascination with Finance

Dang! I really like both of your blogs this week. As with In a Perfect World, I thought that this too was written really well and don’t have much critique. Your writing has a way of coming off both intelligently and appealing. It’s clear that you understand what you read, and when you write and reference it you write it in a way that’s easy for readers to comprehend. It’s great.

Ashley:::

The World of Money

I really enjoyed this blog. You did such a good job referencing and writing in a way that was appealing. I really like your opening statement was defining what ‘finance’ was... And I like that you did it from the text rather than a dictionary. I just don’t prefer dictionary definitions much I guess. My only suggestion would be to consider revising the sentence with the phrase “most money and money”. Really good job though!

Goverment: Creating a Protection from One’s Own Self

Good blog. I really enjoyed this writing. You had so many good and justifiable points- I think it could become a really great essay if you found and cited some scholarly references that supported your statements. I have just a few things to say about the paper. There were a few spelling/grammar errors (government in the title) that you’d probably catch next time you edited should you choose this for an essay. And my other comment is about this statement from your conclusion: “Although many expect dangerous acts to come from persons outside our country, as we can witness by experience, from the Oklahoma bombing to last week, loose security of citizens allows them to do anything that they wish.” I thought this was just a tad hard to make sense of. Good job!!

Nicole:

Freedom of folly

I agree with your stance on the subject that government should resides somewhere between the two ends of the spectrum. Overall your blog was easy to read. You had good ideas. I think if you chose to expand/revise this and use it for an essay, you consider taking a more academic voice in writing it. Perhaps you could do this merely by sourcing outside your personal opinion. Good job!

Some Kind of Purple

I can remember the counteless times I've heard my mother say “too much of anything is never a good thing.” As I’ve grown older, I’ve found her infamous words to be an everlasting piece of advice. While of course the words usually spilled from my mother’s mouth in reference to the amount of material things I had, or in the amount of freedom she gave me, I find the statement to be true in politics as well. Especially in regards to government control and libertarianism as discussed in “Politics for the Really Cool” by Josh McHugh, I think that too much of either (control versus anarchism) is not a good thing.

Let’s take a direction that's different yet still very similar from McHugh and his discussion about cryptography by looking at the Patriot Act. The Patriot Act is an enactment passed by President Bush following the tragic events of 11 September 2001. Some of the provisions of this decree include increased accessibility of the government into personal records (medical and financial), telephone conversations, and e-mail communications. It also allows for financial transactions to be regulated, and makes foreign intelligence assembly in the U.S more permissible.

Given the Patriot Act and what it stands for, it could not better exemplify the idea that neither too much control nor too little government is optimal. Essentially, the act allows enforcement officials to pry into and invade the lives our country's citizens. It strips away from citizens’ freedoms and provides more power to political practices. The government now has power sufficient enough to monitor how an individual spend their money, copious enough to note what books they're buying, and amplible enough to oversee who they're speaking with. This is our government taking a step in the authoritarian direction.

This control factor is the very thing that calls libertarianism into view. Our country stands for its freedom and the liberty it offers to it citizens, but our independence and individuality can’t be 100 percent if our free will is taken away. While all of this makes the citizens of this country who they are, it’s interesting to wonder where we’d be if the government took a step back. Citizens would unquestionably have increased individual sovereignty. In such case, imagine the validity of the word "freedom" without the government breathing down our neck. On the contrary however, think about probable terrorists like Mohammed Wali Zizi and his affiliates or those alike. Imagine the damage they could have been done on the eight anniversary of 11 September 2001 had the government not had the authority to interfere at the lengths they did.

The Patriot Act strips away individual freedoms, but to get some you’ve got to give some. In exchange for what we’re giving up, we’re receiving a higher form of protection from the government as a whole. Just as the act allows us to foresee, too much government is equally as bad as too much anarchy. At the utmost extreme, if individual or even state sovereignty could not exist in the founding colonies, it’s hard to envision how it could exist amongst 50 states. Likewise, the United States would not stand for what it does if it politically existed with a structure similar to that in North Korea. Even downplayed at a libertarian/authoritative level, there needs to be a “happy medium” (with maybe just a little bit of lean to the left!). Individual sovereignty is important, even desirable. Yet, so is the bold protection of the government. Somewhere, the two need to meet in the middle.

Week 11 Blog Reviews

Nicole::

Immigration and the Economy weeds out the selfish people

I really enjoyed reading this. It was nice to read about an ethnicity that isn’t as readily thought of. I learned so much from what you wrote too! It had good flow, and great outside sourcing! My only real recommendation is to make you thesis a bit more identifiable in the intro. Also, maybe consider moving the citation in the intro to the third paragraph to work with the quote from Kenny. I don’t think it’d do any harm to the intro, and add to that what you have in the third paragraph. Great job!

Material Girl In a Material World

Like your other writings, I thought overall this flowed well. It had a consistent voice. I enjoyed your introduction, but I think it makes a stronger statement if you omit the very last sentence and introduce Twitchell's belief in the second paragraph. Good choices of citations throughout the body. In your fourth paragraph, you could consider changing the first sentence to one about addressing memories tied to material things, rather than singling out “positive aspects” since you discuss both the good and the bad associations in the paragraph. Good job. And one last thing- check if you're citing correctly (I need to check too!). I think need the name of the author as well as the page number...

Whitney:::

I Want It All

Cute picture! I like how introduced this writing with the 7 deadly sins. It was intriguing and inviting. Overall however, given the question of your thesis, I thought it this had a sort of biased tone. And while you brought up good points, I just didn’t get the feeling that the thoughts were complete, which made them seem less supported. For example: You said that “If people can’t have everything they want they cannot be happy” and that materialism has “brought us… security and happiness.” The ideas do support your thesis, but I think they also allure the fact that we rely on material things for security, rather than being secure in ourselves... and if that’s the case, is the security a good thing?

The Melting Pot

I like the direction that your writing took. I agree with you about the positive changes African American’s have gone through, and in that we should focus on the positive. Your intro paragraph was a bit of untidy though, especially with your summary of Maggs' essay and your thesis. I liked that you gave a mini-history lesson on African American's but was mildly surprised that that was what the overall writing was about. I also think your writing could have greatly benefited from some actual sources. And one thing be cautious how often you use “it is important to…(remember, think, note, etc)". Good job this week!

Ashley:::

African Americans: The Immigrant Leaders

I like the title for this post! It’s creative, yet very informative. I like that you researched and found other documents to support your writing, and wrote in such an academic tone. I got a bit confused on the direction of it all though. Was it to show how the progress of African American’s has out done the Mexicans, or to express the contributions to the economy by the African Americans in the work force? I felt like your thesis said one thing and your writing said another (or maybe even both). I also thought that citation at the end of the second paragraph felt forced. A few of your sentences made strong statements and perfect sense, but just didn’t flow well (“From beginning as slaves and working for no profit, African Americas have increased their contributions in the American economy in a large way”). I think with some minor editing this would make a great essay!

How Much Would You Pay For My Name on Your Chest?

I agree with you! You brought up a lot of good points, and used Twitchell (who you obviously understood) well. It’s interesting to think how different we are from Eastern cultures where family (and religion, and…, etc.) mean so much more than what money can buy! My only suggestion is about your organization. There are clearly 3 paragraphs, but it’s hard to differentiate between what’s really the introduction, the body, and the conclusion. For example, “Materialism I believe hurts our culture more than anything” reads (to me at least) like the start of a conclusion and it’s at the beginning of your body. Maybe simplifying your intro and lengthening the body would help? Also, maybe use the statement above (or one like it) as an intro for your conclusion. Just some suggestions!!

Moving Forward

North America has always been the river bed for a flood of immigrants. Most ethnic groups came (and continue to come) here willingly, out of interest, or a desire to establish a better life. One ethnic group however was different. Imported as slaves and laborers, African Americans did not originally come here willingly. They were forced here. Times and practices have certainly changed since the day and age of slavery, but African Americans continue to leave their imprint on the U.S. economy.

African Americans endured a very difficult time following the abolishment of slavery, and have come a long way since. While they were granted their liberty, with issues of segregation and the majority with little or no education under their belt, finding a source of employment or income was very difficult during the mid 1900's. As a result, they often found themselves living in poverty with little or no money. By today’s standards, the black society has significantly progressed. Making up 13.5 percent of the U.S. population, as of 2002, 50.8 percent of employed black people were no longer making a living off of service and manual labor and held “white collar” jobs. As of 2003 more than half (58.3 percent) of African Americans were enrolling into college within a year of receiving their high school diploma. This education level is such a dramatic increase from what it was during the segregation periods of the late-early to mid 1900’s. In comparison to whites, where college participation was found to be 66.1 percent, their progress looks even more substantial (US Society African Americans).

Progress has certain been made, but the fact remains that many African American’s continue to be trapped under the rug of poverty. In comparison to white men, they still maintain a higher rate of unemployment and thus on a lower income basis. The times of segregations, in which by law they were forced to live in ghettos or rundown neighborhoods, is still labeled as one of the major impacting factors for it. Inundated by drugs and crime, urban areas or residence are their primary foundation (US Society African Americans).

Just as they did in the times of slavery and forced immigration, African American’s continue to leave their mark on the nation. Though many of them continue to be unemployed and live in poverty, progressing from virtually nothing, they have come a very long way. Not only have they progressed in their education and employment fulfillments, but accordingly as citizens and in status. For the first time in ever, our country is seeing a black president. With such substantial changes we can only expect further progression within African Americans, not only has individuals but as an ethnic group in its entirety, and a larger imprint on American and its economy in the future.

US Society African Americans. “About the USA”. http://usa.usembassy.edu/society-blacks.htm. 5 November 2009. Web.

Week 10 Blog Reviews

Ashley:::

Secret Control of Japanese Behind the American Music Industry

You did such a good job bringing in the article to your writing. It was well written, and it was thoroughly understood with a consistent flow. The only thing concerning was your conclusion. While I think it was well written, the multiple citations within it had me seconding guessing on whether or not you were finishing up or not. Great writing and good job!

Intern Nightmare

Oh! How awful! I couldn't imagine, especially with all the anxiety of a first day! Glad you made it out without anybody noticing! I thought you wrote this nicely. I think it had just the right amount of detail without letting anything get too drawn out. However, I think you had a tendency to write how you would speak in certain parts, and it though I do think it gave it personality, it also made those parts read a bit less smoothly. Good job though, and great story!! Can't wait to read some more of your writing!



Whitney:::

My Father's Fall

So sorry to hear about your father's accident. It's so unfortunate, but with these big corporation companies, I can't say I'm suprised. I hope his back is better now though! I enjoyed My Father's Fall. I thought the story was well told, but I do wish you would have elaborated on the conclusion a bit more because it really spiked my interest. But other than that and a few grammatical errors, I think your story took ready smoothly in the sense that it didn't linger or bypass details and gave just enough description for catching attention. Can't wait to read more of your writing!!

Thursday 29 October 2009:::
No post.


Nicole:::

Consumer Disaster

Consumer Disaster was such a pleasure to read. I love that your writing shows so much personality too! I'm glad to hear that everything with your cousin (and her family) turned out to be OK. A gas leak is such a scary thing! While I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post and thought it was very well written, I would have loved reading more about the incident with your cousin. Did it ever get severe enough that they end up having to do anything with her in a medical sense, or was fresh air the only remedy she needed? And how on earth did they realize that was the cause of the problem?! My only comment is about your citations. I know this was supposed to be a narrative, but I felt like in the way you referenced the reading so much, that they should have been there. Good job! Can't wait to reading more of your writing!!

Thursday 29 October 2009:::
No post.

In a Materialistic World

#1

Over the decades, consumer lifestyles have changed drastically and as a result materialism is a huge part of today’s society. From designer labels to off brand trinkets, with so many products available to us, nobody can escape the lasting impressions of it all. Naturally we place large significance on such things, thus materialism becomes a vital and meaningful part of our lives.

James Twichwell, author of Two Cheers for Materialism explains this phenomenon of materialism as “a vital source of meaning and happiness in the modern world” (pg 388). Much to many critics disagreement, Twichwell argues that as materialism is such an existent and imperative part of society, the affects are not only purposeful in their assistance to create who we are, but are so because we’ve made them that way. If we are the hands at such creation, can it really be all bad?

Twichwell recognizes that consumerism has its drawbacks. Over consumption is not only wasteful, it’s draws consumers into debt because of its availability. As a result depression rises. “Consumption will turn sour because so much of it is based on the chimera of debt. Easy credit = overbuying = disappointment = increased anxiety” (Twitchell 392). It can also create a negative sense of belonging or isolation. Those who cannot afford such items strive will react in negative ways, such as stealing, to get it (Twitchell 393).

Beneath all these negative aspects, Twichwell see a positive sense of meaning and “goods” that bear happiness. While “money can’t buy happiness... [and] you have a better chance than with penury”, a light is shed at the end of the tunnel of negativity (Twichwell 392). Not only are such things used to generate happiness, but these things often hold a heavy meaning behind them. Though the denotation behind one’s personal possessions may be different from anyone elses, for example the significance in the experience had with it versus the physical appearance; everything appears to have meaning specific to that person, their life, and what they make of it. “Things do not come completely; they are forever being assembled” (Twitchell 395). The materialism behind oneself is what makes them who they are.

It’s evident that materialism has many affects on society. The amount of debt the country is in is a prime example of the negatives attributes at minimum. However, if my building were to set on fire, one of the first things I would grab is the photos of my childhood. While consumer products, like the one that created my photos may be a contributor to such a financial state, it's the memories and meaning within those photos that are what make me happy. As consumers we need to be able to control ourselves with materialism. Such items can bring happiness and meaning just as Twichwell explained. However, if we allow ourselves to feed into the overwhelming amount product supply that companies are going to continue to feed us, we will find ourselves as merely another statistic for the critics.

Risky Business

In Who Controls the Music, author Mark Crispin Miller dicusses the developmental route of the music industry. In his discussions, he recognizes profit as being one of the major prospects for the six major corporations that seem to dominate this industry. Decribing it as being a cutthroat business, he suggests that profit is the main influence behind it all. Every man is one for themselves, always trying to get a step ahead. For instance, just as CD's have replaced vinyl, the music industry is now trying to replace the CD's with DVD's. The purchase of all new equipment due to the new format would bring in more money. Instead of trying to find ways to bring in more profit, with a few changes, I think the music industry would really start looking up again.

These days the industry picks up labels rather than acts. They know what sells, thus they encourage that with their musicians and copycat it all. In doing so they are allowing attributes other than talent to help decide what musicians they bring on with the company and very easily pass by excellent musician who are very talented. If companies would be more willing to take a risk, and truly invest time and money into more independent-like music, they could potentially find something quite popular amongst the masses and certainly different than the mainstream. With technology advances as successful as the internet, it doesn't seem like too much time would be neccessary to find a truly authentic musician.

I honestly think that if not everything was so much about profit, the industry could really excell. With efforts to actually find a good musician, rather than someone who will simply sell records because they're good at doing what everyone else already is, it would really make the company stand out. In turn they could potentially be very successfull because they'd be the only ones doing it. As a consumer I know that I don't just like the kind of music that appeals to the masses, and I think that goes for a lot of other people as well. If it didn't, why would the underground music industry be so hot right now? The big companies just need to be willing to possibly saccrifice their maximal profit and take the risk with musicians that make great music and play a part different from what's already being done.

Nearly a Dream

It was 5:00 am when the alarm woke me from a bed that wasn’t mine. We were on winter break from school, I was 15 years old, and staying my friend Jennifer’s house. The house felt bitter and outside you could see the snow that had adorned the road overnight. It was a just like any other morning, perfect. Jennifer and I had started snowboarding about 5 years prior, and got up at 5:00 am at least 4 days a week, or as often as possible, to go. This day was no different. Quickly dressing, we put on our warmest socks, followed by our long johns, under shirts, jeans, hoodies, and shoes, before meticulously doing our hair and makeup. In our shared backpacks we shoveled in 2 pairs of snowboarding pants, both of our jackets, 2 pairs of extra gloves each, our favorite scarves, best looking sunglasses, goggles, extra socks, cameras, and last but not least our wallets. Before we knew it, there was a honk from the driveway, and with a bag on my back, a very used snowboard under my arm, and boots in my hand, I made my way to the jeep where our two “friends” Josh and Jordan from the neighboring town were climbing out to help us.

After driving the hour drive, we arrived at the familiar ski resort. Well, pulled on the rest of our apparel, began the hike across the parking lot, and within ten minutes were seated on the icy lift headed to the top of the mountain. There’s nothing better than cruising down a mountain and snowflakes stinging your face, and it was as if almost no time at all had passed before we were breaking for lunch. Over warm bowls of clam chowder, the four of us decided that after a morning full of tree cruising, mogul dodge, and ski passing, we’d make our way to the other mountain to hit a few jumps.

Three ski lifts and a couple of runs later, we made it. The first few jumps are always risky because you never know what the conditions may be, so we started out slow. Over and over, we’d make our way partway down the hill, carve to catch speed, hit the jump, land (or crash), snap off our board, and hike back up the mountain to do it again. After an hour or so, we came across a new jump none of us had seen. As Josh investigated the legitimacy of it, I sat atop the hill ready for the go ahead. Before I knew it, I had the “All clear!”. Like usual, I began making quick carving movement to gain just enough speed to be able to control myself as made the jump. But as I approached the ramp, I noticed to right of the center of it was the peak of a huge cider rock, covered in just enough snow to camouflage it. I leaned on my heals to turn me to the left hoping to avoid the rock, but was a second too late. Just as my board grazed past it, it caught a rough edge, splintering my board and sending me flying up into the air, to belly flopping (or face planting) into the snow.

And just like that I was back at Jennifer’s house. Unable to remember my parent’s cell phone number, I waited for them to return home because I couldn’t think of anything to do and Jennifer knew that house number.

And just like that I was being aroused out of sleep from my own bed, in my own room, in my own house. My mom was standing over me spouting questions a million miles a minute. “Krista, do you remember me? Krista, how’d you get that bandage? Someone had to take your pants off to put that on you, do you remember who it was? Krista, what do you remember? Krista, why weren’t you wearing your helmet? Krista, did Josh take you to the medical center on the resort? Krista, can you tell me how you got off the mountain?” “I don’t know.” was all I could say.

To this day, I do not remember more than what I’ve written. I do however, have three very comedic friends, a very old, attic residing, much too little, splintered edged snowboard, a nasty scar, and a blood stained shirt to remind me of the details that are nothing but a story to me.

Week 8 Blog Reviews

Jade:::

After all, Maybe It’s… Biology

This was so easy to read. For some odd reason my textbook was missing the pages that pertained to that writing assignment so I couldn’t do it…. And thus I especially like how you translated both your opinions and the authors and wrote in a comprehendible way. Love is soooo interesting, and I agree with you that more people need to realize it’s a biological concept too. I had no idea that about the pupil dilation! There were a few grammatical errors and sentences I think you probably could have revised – “As a society we have a way of thinking that our Prince Charming just comes along one day, we date, get married, and have kids in that white picket fence surrounding our cute little house.” It sounded a bit like a run on sentence, and I think maybe you meant something along the lines of “…and have kids in our cute little house surrounded by that white picket fence.”... Just errors you’ll catch by editing! Good job though, it was an easy and fun piece of writing to read.

To Be Or Not To Be

This assignment was well organized and again easy to read. I particularly like the in addition to your opinions and support from the book that you brought in another reference (the Bible) for support. Of course, as it always has, religion plays a big factor on the entire concept of homosexuality and it was smart of you to bring it up. Good job.


Aubrie:::

The Science of Dating

Good structure in your writing. I feel like I could have just read your paper in substitute of the actual article (though I didn’t get to do the assignment so maybe there was quite a bit more I missed??) because you’ve summarized the author’s ideas and concepts so well. I think that the amount of personality you allow to show through in your writing is really a good thing and you should keep doing it the way you are. To me, sometimes too much personality can make writing come off as amateurish. You use it minimally and in a way that makes the writing soo pleasant. It’s the little statements like these that I enjoy: “To me, it’s a bit like a magic trick being explained to you.” and “…(not unless you were a fan of Ariel and wanted an Eric of your own).”I very much enjoyed your writing this week.

Jungle to Jacksonville?

Catchy title. I dig it. This assignment was written nicely. I like that you brought in other animal-human similarities rather than merely focusing on the concepts discussed in the reading. An animal to human dictionary would be a tremendous help in choosing which side of the endless debate is right. I certainly support you on that idea.. Overall good writing again. Enjoyed it.


Monique:::

What’s Chemistry got to do with Love!!

You picked such a great quote to use as your opening statement. It was catchy and intriguing. You did such a thorough job writing this paper and made organized all of it very well. One thing that really popped out to me was the you wrote much of the paper in your own words, but also had very supportive citations. I like your technique in dealing with references because it blends both your opinion and the research or support nicely. It gets boring when all you do it read quotes from a textbook, and unjustified when you have nothing to support it! Overall, great writing. I think you’re a great writer. I really enjoyed it.

Is Homosexuality Natural??

From the ideas of the paper, to the support for it, to your opinion, you had great flow and organization. You kept each part separate and discussed each equally. I agree that it’s a never ending debate. The evidence of animal homosexuality will work in favor of homosexuality only if you’re for it in the first place. Good use of citations. They were strong and summarized many of the ideas discussed nicely. Overall, good writing!!!

Ray of Light

Directed Freewrite

Ray of Light

Homosexuality is more prevalent in today’s day then it ever has been, and though the topic remains a debate, evidence of same sex relations in animals now shows that humans are not the only ones indulging in the behavior. Does this recent discovery shed a ray of light for those in support of those relations or for those against it?

Jeffrey Kluger’s “The Gay Side of Nature” discusses the topic of same sex relations in both humans and animals. As same gender sex has always been considered as uniquely human, scientist Bruce Bagemihi suggests that the animal kingdom is more complex than we thought and animals in fact are indulging in the same type of behaviors (Kluger 338). This discovery could be a good thing for those that support it. It suggests that homosexuality is a natural form of sexual expression (Kluger 339). People who oppose the idea however could argue this by suggesting that animals are doing it strictly for pleasure, because it’s impossible to know their reasoning. They could also argue the points that Kruger identifies in his article, that to animal “sex serves many nonsexual purposes, including establishing alliances and appeasing enemies” (Kruger 339).

The debate of whether or not homosexuality is right or wrong will continue for the upcoming years. While the discovery of same gender sex in animals may be a positive thing for those who accept and support the behavior, suggesting that it’s a natural tendency, there are always going to be those who disagree and can turn the justifying evidence into something that supports their view instead. It all comes down to who’s interpreting the information, how open or closed-minded they are to the debate, and personal beliefs by terms of ethics.

Week 7 Blog Reviews

Jade:::

Just Being a Male Can Be Deceitful

I love that you took such a personal approach to this freewrite. Your choice or words and writing style was much less “academic” so to say, and it gave it excitement, a sense of friendliness, and made it relatable. I like that you first made a somewhat personal statement about having an argument with a guy that could have been avoided had you know about Tannen’s theories.. and then summarized her ideas. I really enjoyed reading this, good job!

Till “Divorce” Do Us Part..

Your introductory paragraph was really catchy (in a good way), and definitely grabbed my attention. Your citations, like last week, compliment your writing and support what you are saying. I like that you narrowed in on just a few of Wright’s ideas. There was so much information! But narrowing seemed to help keep your paper interesting and at a good length. However, overall, your thesis was bit confusing to me. You clearly said you were in support of marriage but when I read it along with the rest of your paper, until I got to your conclusion (which made strong points), I thought maybe you were headed in the “I believe in marriage, BUT..” approach rather than a more direct argumentative approach. Besides that, I enjoyed your writing. It was easy to read, and had good flow.


Aubrie:::

Lost in Translation

Your writing for this freewrite took a different approach then I was expecting. By starting it off with your story, you kept me much more entertained (and curious!) then the usual prompts we write about. I like your choice of citations, and think you did a great job summing up the story by summarizing her thoughts and concluding that it frustrations probably stemmed from your different conversation styles. Good job.

Is Monogamy the Key?

Love this. Your writing, word choice, flow was there for me. It held my was very informative and held my interest. Good choice on summarizing Wright’s ideas and concepts. Was a re-fresher for me! Really enjoyed your conclusion: “It has often been said that some of life’s most rewarding pursuits are those that are difficult, that one must work and strive for. Therefore, the state of marriage should not be done away simply because it is difficult for this very reason. Monogamous marriage should continue for the benefit of society, in the view of Wright.” Overall, I don’t have much to complain about except that perhaps the first sentence in that conclusion could have maybe been reworded after the comma. Such a trivial thing though. Good job.


Monique:::

He said/She said (WILL YOU LISTEN)!!

I enjoyed reading this writing of yours. I like that you summarized Tannen’s ideas rather than taking direct quotes from her writing. They way you did it helped your paper flow as I thought it all held the same tone. Good conclusion too. I like that you chose to end this paper with a sort of analysis on the way your spouse acted and the way you reacted. And.. umm.. I have to COMPLETELY agree with you about making all the decisions. Isn’t it the worst?

*Saving Monogamous Marriages*

I like your title. It was direct and was the perfect statement for me to foretell the direction your paper was going to be taking. Your writing had its fair share of citations and ideas from the reading, but I like that you actually indulged into some of your personal ideas for support of your paper as well. It made reading it much more interesting, and less like reading a biased summary. Overall, I enjoyed this piece and I agree that people need to work at their relationship and not rush into marriage. After all, when we marry, aren’t we anticipating spending the rest of our lives with our partner anyways?! No rush. =]

Working Through It

Directed Freewrite:::

Working Through It

Cheating and infidelity is something that's generally looked down upon. Not only does it have a reputation for destroying relationships but it also has a reputation for ending a marriage by divorce. Evolutionary psychology however encourages the acceptance of infidelity with both theoretical and scientific support as a part of our evolutionary makeup in sexual behavior. As "natural" as it may be, humans sexual behavior should not be the excuse to the abolish monogamous marriages.

Evolutionary psychology encourages the theory that human beings are designed to fall in love but they aren't designed to stay there. With emphasis on the human mind and its role of the environment in shaping behavior, it suggests that adultery, infidelity, partner annoyance and irritation is natural. Theories also suggest that humans do this because the mind is designed to transmit genes for reproduction. (Wright 280). In the article Our Changing Heart, author Robert Wright notes that this infidelity occurs in both men and women and on completely different levels. Men tend to naturally experience these urges on a sexual level while women have a deeper connection with emotional infidelity (285). His concept is supported in part by the fact that women can only reproduce about once and year, while men have the opportunity to do so with each new partner (Wright 282). Infidelity however does have a reputation in divorce, which is no longer a rare sight. Between the years of 1960 and 1990, divorce rates have doubled going from 25% to 50% (Wright 288). Robert Wright may have gotten it right when he said that perhaps lifelong devotion isn't a natural thing for humans (Wright 289). It's quite possible that as evolutionary psychology would appear, natural sexual behaviors doesn't exactly make that lifestyle easy either.

As Robert Wright and evolutionary psychology has shown, infidelity and sexual behaviors can quite possibly be embedded into our systems, as a natural occurrence. However this is not something to rationalize the commitments humans choose to make to one another by marriage. Awareness of the issue will allow people to be be more insightful about it and "lead people to subject their own feelings to more acute scrutiny" (Wright 290). These perceptions of underlying intentions can potentially be seen as illusions (Wright 290). With effort and with work, monogamous marriage can withstand the complexities of natural behaviors, and should be preserved.

You Aren't Listening!

Directed Freewrite:::

You Aren't Listening!

Disagreements between men and women are something I would assume most everyone has encountered at some point or another in their life. I, for one, have been seeing the same guy, Steve, since since I was 16 and not afraid to admit that we have had our fair share of disagreements. Arguments and disagreements, which are often instigated by conversational differences amongst males and females, is something Deborah Tannen does a great job explaining in her article Sex, Lies, and Conversation. With her idea's in mind, conflicts seem to be both more avoidable and justifiable.

Amongst Tannen's theories of conversational differences, she makes two really strong points. First, she notes that the significance of intimate conversation is held of much higher importance for women then it is for men, who generally find the sense of closeness of more importance (Tannen 242). Her second explanation comes in the form of body language that occurs during our conversations. She explains that male body language often send women the wrong message suggesting that they aren't offering their full attention. When it comes to their perception of female body language and conversational expressions, they often view it as invasive or argumentative (Tannen 243). Both of these are something I feel make a significant difference in interpretation. With the knowledge of Tannen's theories and suggestions, I am confident that many of the disagreements that have arose not only between Steve and I, but other people as well, might not have occurred had we been more aware of these differences.

Steve and I were recently in predicament that I feel clearly demonstrates Tannen's ideas. Following a discussion about whether or not I should study abroad in one of the upcoming semesters, an argument arose. As we have spent the past 8 years together, the topic of temporarily moving across the world was something I felt was necessary to discuss. While I sat and spoke attentively about the matter, he remained busy doing miscellaneous things and I grew frustrated with his lack of attention. After reading Tannen's idea's on conversation, I can now see how I was misinterpreting his meaningless actions. His "busy work" was him exhibiting his natural instincts, while I perceived it like Tennen explains, as him not listening (Tannen 242). As my frustrations grew, I asked Steve to stop what he was doing and sit down to talk with me. The conversation went on but I soon found myself facing him on the couch, while he sat with both feet on the ground looking offering feedback only at times of abnormally long conversational pauses. To me, his silence only further supported the lack of attention and importance I was feeling. This too is something that Tannen addresses. She explains that women usually offer listener-noise, or occasional word references like "uhuh" to insure that they are listening. While men generally do not do this, women, like me "who expect a stream of listener-noise, interpret silent attention as no attention at all" (Tannen 243).

It's apparent that the differences in male and female conversational habits are quite significant to the outcome of a conversation. Though Steve and I were able to get past our minor conflict, I think a large part of that had to do with the fact that we know each other quite well. Being aware of Tannen's conversational concepts not only shed some light onto the issue, but will also help to avoid potential disagreements in the future.

Week 6 Blog Reviews

Jade :::

Sorority Sisterhood..of Sorority Sin?

I have not seen Sorority Row, and actually had no desire to, but your description kind of intrigued me. Good job. Ha. On a serious note, you did do a good job breaking down the movie. The comparisons/references you made towards the reading were really good. I especially like the reference to Boozer’s quote on the spontaneity of crimes committed by couples. It seems dead on with Sorority Row. My only suggestion to you (which is also something I need to do), is to perhaps do what Professor Patel suggested in her posting yesterday, and summarize the reading too. Otherwise, I thought it was great, and well written.

Cheers to the Future

I absolutely agree with your opinion that technology is changing and will continue to change the future. You brought up some ideas for progressive technology that I hadn’t thought of when you discussed the technologies behind sex change and surrogate mothers. I like that you went further on D’Emilio’s idea of the needing to maintain male/female relationship for reproduction (because there weren’t that many gay relationships back when) too. While I do agree, I think the concept itself is debatable and something that I think would have been a great addition to your writing, simply because of other technological advances. Take medical technology for example, and think about how far we’ve come with equipment, vaccines, etc. We can keep much more children/people alive longer, and nurse them back to good health with much more successfully these days. As a whole, I think you had nice writing. I enjoyed reading it.


Aubrie:::

Troy

Like most movies, Troy is another one I haven’t seen. Being that I largely have to rely on the plot descriptions to get the full comparison, I think you summarized well. Being that said, I think you really used your citations well, and in a way that as someone who hasn’t seen the movie, the provided a good sense of support. My only suggestion is I think it would have been nice to have more of a conclusion to your writing. Overall, I like your writing style. Good job.

The Fracturing of the Family

Really good introductory paragraph. I like that you referenced what we’ve previously learned, before going into D’Emilio’s Capitalism theory. I think your writing was well rounded in part because you discussed both the pros and the cons of cyber technology. I agree with you, and think it’s completely accurate to say that while we can stay connected to someone more easily, it certainly does detriment the relationship a bit too.


Monique:::

“Real Wild Women” and/or “Wild Real Man”

I loved your posting. It was so easy to read, and it covered the summary/plot/concepts of the movie nicely. Your citations were really supportive too and helped make your points strong. I haven’t seen Enough, but it really does sound like the perfect example of a “real wild women” or “real wild man”.

Hidden Stories: Capitalism and Gay Identity

Like Professor Patel pointed out, your approach on the topic was really good. The background information on the reading set a good starting point for the further discussion of your personal opinions. You and Jade both brought up the same ideas of sex change and gay child bearing though you had slightly different points, so it was nice to read about other opinions on the topic. You said (and I agree with you) that the growth of technology and capitalism both create change argumentatively on both the positive and negative aspects. I would have really enjoyed reading your negative takes on the ideas you presented. Good paper, great writing!

A Changing Society

Directed Freewrite:::

A Changing Society

The current state of the American Family is certainly different than it was 50 years ago or so. It’s much different than it was even 10 years ago, and many of these changes were, and still are enabled by advancing computer technology.

In today’s day, it’s rare for someone, especially teenagers and young adults to leave the house without their cell phones. One of the reasons is because this gives them us an outlet to who we want, when we want. It also provides flexibility to speak with people at our own conveniences and at our own privacy. We can experience confidentiality away from other people and in assurance that family members, who in the past probably would have overheard our conversations as we would have been speaking on the single, centrally located rotor telephone, cannot hear.

The internet is another huge outlet can change our economic structure. In the same sense that D’Emilio described capitalism as essentially providing people with a sense of new found independence, internet is on the same route. While life is fairly easy to live successfully “independent” in comparison to what it once was, things are only getting easier. The internet provides an entire new social system for people to really indulge themselves in. Online communities are established by everything from common interests to lifestyles. This makes it now possible to be involved in something not only across the county, but perhaps even across the world. I think the internet can also act as a guard, or a wall. You can feel more ease to be yourself online, without having to worry about the direct and immediate after effects or reaction of those who may disagree as you would in real life social scenes.

If things continue to progress technologically in the same direction as it has been, I think we will be able to look back upon this change just as D’Emilio did on the capitalist economy. We are already establishing levels of independence beyond what they ever were. I think we humans strive for this because it allows us to express our individuality, which is in a way, in our nature.

The Descent

Movie Analysis:::

The Descent

The movie, The Descent is about a group of close friends (who all happen to be women), who reunite about a year after an accident kills one of their close friends, to go cave exploring together. As their adventures begin, unforeseen personalities begin to show.

At the beginning of the movie, the best friends laugh and converse together as they catch up on each other’s lives. Relationships are illustrated and it’s apparent that they all have different backgrounds and lifestyles but share lifelong bonds and common interests.

As the women reach the cave they all seem to leave their stereotypical lifestyles portrayed during the opening scenes of the movie to become highly ambitious, adventurous, and devious. As they make their way into the depths of the cave a passage through which they had just passed through collapses behind them only able to move forward to find a new way out. The leader of the trip, Juno, at this point decides to tell the group that not only is it an unexplored cave. As the tensions begin to grow higher some of the women start to bring up past issues, and who they truly are outside of the adventure cave walls begin to show. The women, move forward, and as they progress they become frustrated and some of them begin to turn on and killing the others. Juno, the leader who’s seems now to be in it solely for herself, ends up dead.

Similar to Seduction and Betrayal in the Heartland, this movie shows a few different sides. I think this movie also does a good job going against stereotypical women roles. One imparticular is the outdoorsy adventure in itself.

Week 4 Blog Reviews

Lauren P:::

Freda Kahlo

I like how before you began analyzing the painting, you took the time to explain everything just as it’s seen. By pointing everything out, it made me realize there were details I had over looked. I think you did a good job interpreting the painting too. The whole idea of a wedding was a good interpretation and you had some really good observations that tied in nicely. One example was the décor and colors of the background and how that translated into wealth. I enjoy your use of descriptive words like “royal” as well. Good job.

Will Machines Have Consciousness Like Humans?

Bad summaries are really hard to read… I think they either had too much information, or skip important details… But I really enjoyed reading your summary because it made sense and you kept it a minimal length without indulging in unnecessary details. While reading it, I felt like I knew exactly what was going on and it even reminded me of a few of the details I had forgotten about after ready the textbook myself.




Lauren A:::

Freda Kahlo

I completely agree with your interpretation of Self Portrait on the Border between Mexico and the United States. The plugs from machinery vs. the rooted flowers could only say just that. I like how you explained why you chose this portrait and how you thought it related back to her “story” too. It’s a good reminder for those of us who now know her story, and good background information for those who don’t.

"The Lights are on, but is anybody home?"

As I mentioned in Lauren P.’s review, I think that summaries are fairly often hard to read because they aren’t don’t well… but like her, I think you did a good job writing yours too. You followed the storyline of the article well, and rewrote about the important information with just the right amount of necessary details. Oh, and great title! Loved it!



Kim Kida::: No posts

The Boken Column

Volves, Ed. "Freda Kahlo at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art." 16 June 2008. California Literacy Review. 17 Sept. 2009 http://calitreview.com/747

The Broken Column

There is so much take note of in Freda Kahlo’s, The Broken Column. Like most of her artwork, she is the subject. In this specific portrait however, she is the only subject up for discussion as all attention is on her. In this representation, she is a lone figure in a somewhat empty terrain. Her naked torso is split into two by a broken column and her body is sprinkled with nails.

Freda displays herself with a lot of honestly here. The broken column in her torso, which has replaced her spine, shows a deep rooted pain. This torso is also exteriorly bound by straps. Upon a closer look, you recognize that the column is not just broken, but has been carefully pieced back together. This detailing resembles all that she has endured throughout her life, all of the agony she has gone through. Like the broken column, Freda too has pieced her life back together. The bindings across her torso symbolize the support system needed in her yet fragile state.

The remainder of Freda’s body illustrate just as much as her upper body. The expression on her teary eyed face is almost nonexistent. The blank appearance illustrates her valor and exhaustion, while her impermissible tears expose the lingering pain of one whose plate is filled with sting and tenderness- of one who may not be able to take on much more. While the trunk of Freda’s body is mostly naked, perhaps exposing her vulnerability, wrapped around her waist is a blanket. On both the blanket and her exposed skin, she is scattered with piercing nails. The nails possibly resemble the many other pains she’s undergone, or stand as a reminder of what she’s been through. Either way, it’s another reference to pain she has encountered.

Another important aspect was the environment in which she chose to portray herself, alone in a barren terrain on a blue skied day. Releasing a slight sense of loneliness it seems her emotions falls along the lines of acceptance, and somewhere between the extremes of abandonment and independence.

The Broken Column depicts both the obvious pain she’s undergone and also a sense of achievement getting past it. As someone who has obviously endured a lot, she has managed to hold herself together and I think this is exactly what this piece is trying to say. Aside from what’s represented here, I think that Freda’s capability to expose herself by the mere creation of this piece says a lot about her ability to cope and move forward.